


Inside Maudes Mind

by Faerie_Fable



Series: Trollsona [11]
Category: Trolls (2016), Trolls World Tour (2020)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Maudes existential crisis thoughts, Multi, Shenanigans, shower thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faerie_Fable/pseuds/Faerie_Fable
Summary: Random incorrect quotes and shower thoughts by the one and only Maude, courtesy of their daily existential crisis
Series: Trollsona [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764529
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Inside Maudes Mind

Barb and Maude eating breakfast:

Maude:  _ pauses, staring at their spoon blankly _

Barb:  _ sighs _

Barb: what's today's existential crisis?

Maude, whispering: does a bowl of cereal count as cold soup?

Barb: just eat your breakfast soup

Maude: ok

Barb:  _ doing paperwork _

Maude:  _ sits up slowly _

Maude: If dessert before dinner ruins your appetite for dinner won’t eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?

Barb, putting down her work: ...

Barb: fuckfuckfuckfuck

Maude, surrounded by clothes they'd unpacked: Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

Carol:  _ passes Maude the cheezewhip _

Carol: take this and go to sleep

Maude, 10years old during existential crisis:  _ staring blankly _

Poppy, not knowing Maude very well yet: what ya staring at the wall for?

Maude: How come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?

Poppy:  _ whispering _ what the sprinkles?!?

Barb:  _ walks into a room and is suddenly full of dread _

Barb:  _ asks anyways _

Barb: babe, what's wrong?

Maude, staring at their hands in terror: If you dig a hole in the South Pole are you digging up or down?

Barb:  _ sits to stare at their hands too _

Barb: fuck

Thicket: and then the bastard.... Maude? What's wrong?

Maude, blank faced: Your stomach thinks that all potatoes are mashed.

Thicket: ...

Thicket: I was talking about Nyx and you were thinking about potato's?

Branch and Poppy: oh hey Maude, what's on your mind?

Maude, sleep deprived:  _ stares blankly at them _

Maude:  _ whispering ominously _

Maude: Scientists are adult kids stuck in the "why?" phase.

**Before TWT**

Maude:  _ watching couples in pop village _

Branch: what's on your mind?

Maude: If opposites attract, I should be dating a gorgeous, vibrant and loud troll that has a loving family.

Branch: oh.... Mood.

Lucky, pointing: um, what's up with Maude?

Poppy:  _ spots Maude staring at the wall _

Poppy, walking away hastily: I don't wanna know!!

Lucky, puzzled: ummmm

Maude, looking up exhaustedly: Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.

Lucky, suddenly worried: I'm not sleeping tonight

Barb:  _ walks in _

Maude:  _ staring at the wall _

Barb: babe?

Maude:  _ looks at her with a bland smile and blank eyes _

Maude: All marijuana is considered medical marijuana if you believe laughter is the best medicine.

Barb: the fact that you're a doctor just makes that more ominous

**Before TWT**

Branch and Maude:  _ sitting in the bunker _

Maude: Depression is like being in an emotionally abusive relationship with your brain

Branch: aaaaaaaaand now I need to book you an appointment with a therapist

Carol and Maude, sitting in Barb's throne room: 

Carol:  _ about to spray cheezewhip in her mouth _

Maude:  _ deep breath _

Maude: "Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts".

Barb: dying of laughter on their throne

Carol:  _ drops the cheezewhip _

Maude:  _ puts down their drink slowly _

Nyx, asking about the drink: what's wrong?

Maude:  _ takes a deep breath _

Maude: Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"

Nyx:  _ takes Maude's drink _

Nyx: your mind is a very weird place

Barb:  _ spots Maude on the lounge _

Barb: what's up?

Maude: When you say 'Forward' or 'Back', your lips move in those directions.

Barb: ...

Barb:  _ mouths them to herself _

Barb: ...

Barb: well fuck

Carol and Barb:  _ chatting _

Maude:  _ walks in with a troubled expression _

Carol: what's up Sugartits?

Maude: "DO NOT TOUCH" would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.

Barb: and now I wish I didn't know braille.

Nyx: okay doc, what's up?

Maude:  _ staring at their whiskey _

Maude: When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

Nyx: I didn't need to think of that

Enza: hey Maude, do you know where- wait, what's wrong?

Maude:  _ staring at their untouched food _

Maude: Nothing is ever on fire, but fire is always on things.

Enza, backing away: what the hell goes on in your head?

Maude:  _ closing a recipe book in frustration _

Star: what's wrong?

Maude:  _ completely deadpan _ History classes are only going to get longer and harder as time goes on.

Star: what's in that recipe book?!?

Maude:  _ wakes up in the middle of the night _

Maude, texting Branch and Poppy: I'm glad dogs can't read the "no dogs allowed" signs so they don't feel sad and left out.

Maude:  _ sees a corgi _

Maude:  _ deep breath _

Maude shouting: I like big butts and I just can't lie!

Maude:  _ sitting, staring at their hands _

Barb: What's wrong?

Maude: Every "c" in Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently.

Barb:  _ inhales and joins them _ fuck

Maude:  _ sneezes _

Barb: bless you

Maude: I was blessed the first time I laid my eyes on you

Barb: You hated me though?

Maude: I still thought you were hot

Maude: how about I pour this vodka in my cereal instead of milk?

Poppy:  _ walks past and takes the bottle _ how about you don't 

Maude:  _ staring at the wall _

Barb: Hey Madmax, what's wrong?

Maude:  _ takes a deep breath _

Maude: the letters in the word Rap stands for "Rhymes and Poetry"

Barb:  _ existential crisis starts _

Barb:  _ sits down to stare at the wall too _

Barb:  _ walks in _

Maude:  _ staring at the wall _

Barb: what's up?

Maude:  _ deep breath _

Maude: both concrete and glass are made of sand so that means skyscrapers are just really big sandcastles

Barb:  _ inhales _

Barb:  _ sits next to Maude and stares at the wall too _

Barb and Maude: fuuuuuuck

Nyx:  _ walks into the bar _

Thicket, Maude and Synth:  _ looking at him _

Nyx:  _ looking at them _

Nyx:  _ sighing _

Nyx: why are Maude and Thicket on the counter?

Synth: they like to feel tall

Maude and Thicket:  _ grinning _

Maude:  _ distressed _

Cadenza: what's wrong?!?

Maude: in the movie cars...

Maude: does Lightning McQueen have life insurance or car insurance?

Cadenza: ...

Cadenza: well fuck

Cadenza and Maude:  _ distressed _

Maude, surrounded by finger painting Trollings:  _ staring at the wall exhaustedly _

Barb:  _ concerned _

Barb: what's wrong?

One of the Trollings: maroon is just navy red!

Maude, deadpan: yep. 

Barb: you're corrupting the Trollings!

__

I feel like Maude would just be the chillest arts and crafts teacher.

"Here's all the stuff, the glues nontoxic so you can eat it but if you run out craft times over, if you need something cut I have the only scissors"

__

Barb:  _ assumes Maude knows how to scrapbook because they were raised a pop troll _

Barb: I'm putting you in charge of arts and crafts

Maude: oh shit

**Next day**

Barb: wh-why do they all have paint on their hands?

Maude: finger paintings the only arts and crafts I know

__

Maude, hanging with Thicket:  _ staring off into space _

Thicket, suspiciously:  _ puts down cupcake and hides it _

Thicket: what's wrong TwinkleToes?

Maude: onion rings are just vegetable donuts

Thicket: what the fuck?

__

Bridget: pass me the cookie dough

Maude:  _ impassively hands it over _

Maude: is it weird that we cook bacon but bake cookies?

Bridget:  _ sudden realisation _

Bridget: now I know why other trolls didn't play with you

__

Trollex and Barb:  _ chatting _

Trollex: what's wrong Maude?

Maude:  _ doesn't stop staring at the ceiling _

Maude: are lobsters just mermaid scorpions?

Trollex and Barb:  _ backing away slowly _

**Out Of Range**

Barb, whispering: I'll ask the scorpions

Trollex, whispering back: I'll ask the lobsters

__

Maude:  _ half asleep on Barbs throne _

Barb: umm Madmax, what'cha doin?

Maude:  _ sits up wide awake _

Maude:  _ stares at Carol and Barb _

Maude: lasagna is just spaghetti Bolognese flavoured cake

Maude:  _ gets up and walks off _

Carol: they're not wrong

Barb, squinting: no more cheezewhip for you

__

Synth:  _ waiting for the right moment _

Maude:  _ getting kinda tipsy and giggly _

Synth: hey Maddz, how would you describe the different types of attraction?

Maude, contemplating: hmmmm

Synth, sitting back and grinning: ?

Maude: sexual attraction is "boom boom boom, I want you in my room"

Maude: platonic attraction is "you've got a friend in me"

Maude: aesthetic attraction is "When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change, cause you're amazing just the way you are"

Synth: and romantic?

Maude, giggling nervously: fvdvcfcx

Maude, mumbling: "I don't want to close my eyes,I don't want to fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing."

Synth:  _ grinning victoriously _

Synth: how many trolls would you sing that last one for?

Maude:  _ hides red face _

Maude:  _ puts up middle finger _

Maude:  _ adds two more fingers _

Barb, Carol and Nyx:  _ confused _

Synth and Thicket:  _ laughing their asses off _

__

Barb:  _ walks in without looking  _

Barb: hey Madmax, what's up?

Maude: Because there are always pregnant people, the average number of skeletons in a body is higher than one

Barb, freezing in place:  _ sudden fear _

Barb, whispering: I can't un-think it

Maude whispering back: bitch, welcome to my world

__

Maude:  _ staring at the wall in thought _

Barb:  _ sighing _

Barb: what's up Madmax

Maude: deep breath

Maude: can techno trolls drink underwater or is it considered vaping?

Barb:  Barb.exe has crashed

Barb:  _ joins Maude in staring at the wall _

**Ten minutes later**

Barb, sighing: I'll ask Trollex at the next leader meeting

Maude:  _ puts down their drink _

Maude:  _ turns to Branch with a laugh _

Branch:  _ suspicious _

Maude: what do instant noodles and scoobys prayers have in common?

Maude: they're both ramen

Maude:  _ falls off stool laughing _

Branch: I quit

Branch:  _ leaves _

Maude, drunk:  _ giggling _

Nyx, sober: wassup wit' you?

Maude:  _ laughing _

Maude:  _ deep calming breath _

Maude: if you don't water your herb garden you're gonna have bad thyme!

Nyx:  _ sighing _

Maude:  _ back to giggling _


End file.
